Jay Leno says caring for wife with dementia is challenging, but he took ‘a vow’ to live up to

Jay Leno opened up on caring for his wife, Mavis Leno, following her advanced dementia diagnosis, saying it has been “challenging,” but he wouldn’t have it any other way. 

The 74-year-old comedian has been married to his wife, Mavis Leno since 1980. 

“I have never been particularly challenged. I was not in the army, I didn’t have to shoot anybody, I didn’t have to risk my life. When you get married, you take a vow — Will I live up to this? Or will I be like a sleazy guy, if something happens to my wife, I’m out banging the cashier at the mini mart?” he said on Wednesday’s episode of the “In Depth with Graham Bensinger” podcast. 

“No, I didn’t. I enjoy the time with my wife. I go home, I cook dinner for her, watch TV, it’s okay. It’s basically what we did before except now I have to feed her and do all the things. But, I like it. I like taking care of her,” he continued.

He described his wife as a “very independent person,” and with her diagnosis, “I like that I’m needed.”

“When you have to feed someone and change them, carry them to the bathroom and do that kind of stuff every day. It’s a challenge,” he explained. “And it’s not that I enjoy doing it, but I guess I enjoy doing it.”

Leno said it’s important to find the humor in every day things. He said a special moment for him is doing flashcards with pictures with his wife to refresh her memory.

“Remember this honey? It’s kind of funny. Honey, that’s President Obama, we had dinner,” he recalled telling her. She responded with “Oh, not me.” Leno replied: “Yeah honey, it was you… We went to the White House!”

Leno said that in his decades together with Mavis, he feels there’s more love now than ever before.

“We’ve been married 45 years. The first 40 — unbelievable. The last five have been challenging, put it that way. I think there’s more love now. Because, why am I doing this? You know? Well, this is why,” he said.

“At some point in my life I’m going to be called upon to defend myself, stand up, whatever it might be. I think that’s really what defines a marriage. That’s really what love is. That’s what you do. I’m glad I didn’t cut and run, I’m glad I didn’t run off with some woman half my age or any of that silly nonsense. I would rather be with her than doing something else.”

Reflecting on his marriage he said, “I married the person that had the ideals I wish I had.”

Lat year, the former late-night talk show host was granted conservatorship over his wife’s estate due to her dementia.

The petition for conservatorship said Mavis had “been progressively losing capacity and orientation to space and time for several years.” At the time a court-appointed lawyer recommended approving Leno’s request for conservatorship, saying his wife “sometimes does not know her husband, Jay, nor her date of birth.”